


remember me under the sun

by justanotherjulia



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Heavy Angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has a Bad Time, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, im scared for tomorrow, i’m ready to slam my head into so many walls tomorrow, no beta we die like tubbo and tommy might tomorrow, send help, theyre just kids dammit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28865307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherjulia/pseuds/justanotherjulia
Summary: it may be their last day alive and Tubbo makes his own way of saying goodbye(title from Remember by Seinabo Sey)
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 7
Kudos: 137





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> if you expected this to be edited well thats not my brand sorry. i had to get this out before tomorrow :)
> 
> *I listened to Remember (same song as title) while writing this if you want a mood setter.*

Tubbo had made up his mind. There was no way he was going to let Tommy die tomorrow. He didn’t even care about the discs anymore, but if Tommy wanted them than he would do anything to help his best friend get them back. Even after all they had been through, all the words that were said in the heat of the moment (Tubbo really tried to be worth it), he would follow his friend and help him reach his goals if even if it was the last thing he would do.

Tubbo was sitting on top of Tommys house, Ghost Squeeks in his lap, watching Tommy take a stroll down memory lane. He had the urge to do the same before realizing that everything he loved was burnt down, blown up or dead. Hell, even his one pet he had was a ghost a his former pet. The only thing Tubbo had left to fight for was Tommy. If the younger wasn’t there, he would’ve given up a while ago.

Sure Tubbo liked it in Snowchester, but he didn’t get too attached knowing the amount of people after him on the server would do anything to break his morale. He knew Jack and Foolish would abandon their little snowy commune if he died and he was okay with that. He was just happy that he had some company while trying to find peace after the death of L’manburg. 

He’s been trying to separate himself from Tommy knowing his codependency issues could cause problems but it was hard. Even after Tommy told him that the discs were worth more than him, after he jumped in front of a rocket for him knowing if worse came to worse that he wouldn’t do the same, it was hard. He wanted to give Tommy space not knowing if he meant what he said or not. Tubbo didn’t want to be a burden or annoyance to the boy who wore his heart on his sleeve.

Instead, Tubbo had his own way of saying goodbye to the world and the people he’s gotten to know. He was surrounded by book, quills and pots of ink. He may not be the best with spelling, but the people he wanted to say goodbye to were either far out or didn’t want to hear from him. He didn’t blame them after everything he’s done in the history of this world, but he still wanted to say goodbye. This was his home and these people were at some point in time his family and friends. 

The boy was about halfway through his stack of books when Tommy joined him. They sat in silence for a while, Tubbo occasionally petting Ghost Squeeks every few sentences to calm his anxiety about his awful spelling. 

“What’re you writing big man?” 

“Just a few goodbyes.”

“Just a few? Theres enough for the whole server! Do you need any help?”

Tubbo thought about it for a few moments. Help would be great, but he really wanted to do these on his own. He wanted his goodbyes to be between his and the receivers eyes only. 

“No thanks. I’m almost done.” Tommy nodded and the two went back to a comfortable silence, Tubbo trying to focus on writing rather than the boy next to him.

Tubbo really wanted to ask Tommy if he meant what he said, if he really meant that the discs were worth more than him, but he was scared to find out the answer. Even if he did ask, how will he know if Tommy is just lying to spare his feelings? Instead, he lets the silence grow.

Tommy breaks as the sun is about to set. “So, this might really be either one of our last nights.”

“Yeah.” Tubbo half listens, trying to figure out how to spell word he was writing.

“We should do something fun.” 

“Like what, Tommy?”

“We should pretend like it’s the good ole days.”

“The good old days?”

“Yeah the good ole days when all we had to worry about was making sure we had enough ingredients for drugs.” Tommy turns to Tubbo, a smile spread across his face.

The older knew that his friend struggled with the idea of dying permanently in this world. He was so ambitious and there were so many things he wanted to do, things he wanted to achieve, He wanted to be there for when his brother was resurrected, wanted to make up for all of his wrongdoings, while Tubbo was more at peace with the idea of death. 

He was scared of dying when he first woke up on his last life, of course he was. He was only 16 at the time and one misstep could lead to him leaving this world permanently, not knowing where he would land afterwards. Sure, he had other worlds where he had all of his lives, worlds he’d left before coming here in search of new adventures, but he isn’t sure which one he would return to. Maybe he would be reunited with his dad and younger sister in their world or maybe he would end up in one with his other group of friends where the technological possibilities were endless. 

His biggest fear though was ending up in one of the world where he was alone, He didn’t think he could handle being alone with his thoughts after all that’s happened.

“Sure, just let me finish this book. It’s the last one I have to do.” Tubbo finished up the book, signing it and putting it in the pile with the rest. He pulled a chest out of his inventory, throwing the books in and putting a sign on it telling people what the chest was for, before standing up and dusting off his pants.

“So, do you have all the ingredients we need for drug making?” The brunette asked.

“Who do you take me for Tubbo? I’m the most powerful drug lord this world has ever seen. Of course I have the ingredients we need.” Tommy jumped up and headed down to his house, Tubbo dutifully following along, Ghost Squeeks on his heels.

The two laughed and reminisced on old times while brewing the drugs. They robbed a couple people (the two could not get over how high Sapnap was, confusing the word nukes for news) and sang while trying to ignore the fact that they just wanted to live another day. They were just two traumatized children for gods sake. They had a whole future ahead of them, interrupted by wars and petty kills that cut that future short. 

Tubbo wished that he had gotten to know Puffy more, the woman always helping him find his way and reminding him that he was more than his past, than his mistakes. In her note he left the key to his ender chest. She deserved it for all she’s done for him. 

“I miss Wil,” Tommy says after his third strength pot, “I really hope he’s proud of me. I miss when it was just me and him brewing drugs together.”

Tubbo tries to make peace with the fact that while Tommy does care about him, he was never a priority the way other people or things were. It’s then when he gets his answer his mind had been seeking but his heart didn’t want. The discs were worth more than him.

“Yeah, that era was fun.” Tubbo has learnt to agree with whatever Tommy says when he drugged and sad.

“Do you think I’m gonna die tomorrow?” 

Tubbo takes a sip of his second pot before answering, “no, well at least I don’t think we will. We’re more than prepared so we should be fine.”

“I hope I can become a ghost like Wil. It would be nice to spend time with him, both our memories only being happy ones together. Maybe we could make like a ghost only L’manburg.” 

Tubbo ignores the sting of the potion as he downs the rest of his second one, reaching for a third and downing that too. While he might’ve learnt that he needs to make peace with his lack of importance, it still stings. 

Tommys book lays in the chest, the worlds first Stal tucked neatly between the pages. Tubbo hopes that Tommy reads it, listens to Stal and thinks of him. He hopes that people will think positively of him after death, that people won’t still hate him after he’s gone.

The two teenagers fall asleep propped against each other on their bench, a disc playing in the background. All too soon the sun shines over the boys, waking them up and pulling them out of their good mood and drenching them in ice cold water. They looked at each other and nodded, knowing what they had to do.

The pair shared one last hug before walking their separate ways to gather all the gear they’ll need for their last stand. One or both of them weren’t coming out of the day alive and Tubbo has made peace with it. He will make sure Tommy would be safe even if it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. 

And if Tubbo was a little grateful that it might be his last day in this world, well no one needs to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> depending on how tomorrow goes this may only be a two parter or we’re getting a chartered fic of people reading his goodbyes and reacting. 
> 
> also my biggest flex might not be watching a war and a capital get stormed at the same time after tomorrow. it might be watching an assassination attempt and whatever goes down tomorrow at the same time or back to back. gotta love america *eye roll*
> 
> *chapter 4 of father i’m coming home should be out by 12pm est tomorrow (the 20th) for some fluff before the real and mine craft world goes to hell :)*


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo has accepted his death. Its a natural part of life and he thinks his circle has finally come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will maybe edit eventually. who knows

Tubbo pulled his coat closer to his body as he opened the vault in Snowchester. He stepped through the entrance of the tomb like structure, making sure to close the door behind him. While walking down the short path to the main room, he wondered if he was prepared enough. Sure he had spent hours grinding and making sure his armour and weapons were perfect, but he still felt like he was forgetting something. The boy went over his mental checklist and couldn’t think of anything else he needed.

Tubbo filled his pack with blocks, gapples, pots, a water bucket, pearls and food before zipping it up and bringing it up with him, his axe slung across his back, and going to the armour stand that held his god set. He looked it up and down before setting his things on the ground and taking the armour off the stand and putting it on, the weight of what the day held weighing down with every piece of armour put on.

He felt slightly suffocated with the pressure placed on his and Tommys shoulders. He wanted to be optimistic for his friend, but he didn’t know what he would do if he lost Tommy. Tubbo grabbed his things from the floor and headed out of the vault, the sunset casting a warm glow over snowchester. He walked over to Ghost Squeeks one last time, loving all over them just in case he didn’t come home before making his way back over to Tommy’s house. 

Once he got there, he waited patiently for Tommy right outside the front door. A few minutes later, Tommy exited his house decked out in gear.

“Hello?”

“Hey!”

“Its time.” Tubbo says.

“Do you think we prepared enough?” Tommy asked.

“I hope so.”

Tubbo looked around at the dark sky, starts shining down on them before asking, “are you ready for this?”

“Yes. It’s time Tubbo. Let’s follow the compass to Dream and the discs.” Tubbo nodded along in agreement and the two headed down the prime path. 

Tommy looked around reminiscing on all the building and the things he’s done on the server, Tubbo blankly staring at his burnt down house when they reached it. He was so naïve back then, thinking he would be able to have attachments to things without fear of losing them as a calamity to war. They took a few more paces before they realized that there were people lining the path. It may not have been the whole world, but there was a good amount of people there to send them off.

Tubbo wondered if they thought that he and Tommy were gonna die and knowing this might be their last goodbye. 

The two said their goodbyes, Tommy being the more emotional of the two as per usual. Tubbo just said semi detached goodbyes knowing emotions have no place before or during battle. This was a battle for their lives and Tubbo could not afford to take his eyes off their goal. Yet as he said goodbye to Ranboo and Sam, he let some emotion slip through his carefully crafted façade of being a spacey, positive kid. He hoped that Sam would keep his word and take care of Snowchester if he died. If he didn’t, he would have to make sure to get his nuke key card back.

They reached the last of the crowd that lined the streets, waving one last goodbye before heading off in the direction the compass pointed them in. The two joked around and hummed some songs before the mood got serious.

“Tubbo, I know you like to be an optimistic guy and that’s why everyone loves you, but I need you to be real with me for a minute okay? Tonight Tubbo, we’re on our last lives and if we were to die tonight, we’ll be gone. How are you feeling right now?”

“Concerned.”

The two walked in silence to the shore of the ocean, hopping into a boat and taking off across the ocean, uplifting conversation floated between the two with ease. They knew this would be the hardest fight they’ve taken on yet, but they couldn’t let their hours leading up to it be filled with sadness and dread, especially if it may be their last.

“This is nice you know?” 

“Yeah.”

“We’ve had a really good time. I know I haven’t always been the best but, thanks you for stocking with me.” Tommy looked at Tubbo, with such sincerity and Tubbo knows he can never let anyone know how he truly feels. It would create a weakness, emotions always seen as something to be taken advantage over.

So Tubbo settles on an “You’ve been alright.”

Lift Tommy up, don’t let him die, don’t let anyone see how broken you truly are.

“Thank you man, for everything.” 

“Its alright.” Tubbo smiles back causing Tommy to let a soft smile show.

The two pass a few mountains, growing more nervous with each passing moment and mountain that wasn’t the correct one, before they spot a giant mountain unlike all the others. This had to be it. Dream lived for dramatics so there was no way this wasn’t the correct. The compass proved their assumptions to be correct.

They scaled up the mountain, building their way up and fighting off mobs while talking strategy for the fight. When they each the top of the mountain, the two immediately see Dream. They have a moment of scrambling around, before gathering their composure, ready to make their move.

“Hello.” Dream greets the two teens.

“Hey!”

“Long time no see. So, we have a lot to talk about.” The two start potting up for a fight.

“Yes, we do have a lot to talk about.” Tubbo speaks up.

“Have you got the discs on you Dream?” Tommy asks.

“I may or I may not.”

“Do you have the discs on you right now?” 

“I might.” That was all it took for the two teens to bounce on Dream, attacking with the hope that he wasn’t bluffing.

Tubbo realized he probably didn’t even have them on his person knowing that Tommy would always fight before thinking. Tubbo stopped Tommy from attacking realizing that they needed answers before fighting.

“So, how was your journey here?”

“Why did you want us here Dream?”

“Well, I have what you want and I’m assuming you’ve come here to take it.” Dream drawls on.

“But why let us know you’re here?” Tubbo was genuinely confused.

“Well, its better than being in a place surrounded by people. I wanted you to come here.” Dream started building an omission tower, a familiar tune ringing out once he completed the structure.

Tommy and Tubbo looked at each other before Tommy gave Tubbo his knock back sword. Tubbo understood the sentiment and snuck behind Dream before launching at him and knocking him back, buying Tommy time so he could get the disc. 

_dontlethimdiedontlethimdiedontlethimdie_ was ringing through Tubbos head like a mantra. He needed to make sure Tommy got out of there safely. As Tommy grabbed the disc, Tubbo made sure there was an ender chest available, failing to stop Dream from mining it. Tubbo thanked Sam in his head for the turtle pots that the gave them or he would be long gone.

All they had to do was fight their way out of this. They could do it. They were war torn boys, fighting was their first language. Tubbo knew deep down that Dream was better than both of them ever will be. They fought and they fought, burning through resources and armour durability while Dream acted like the fight was nothing.

“Guys, stop.” Dream called out to them.

“Why?” Tubbo asked.  
Dream went on another rant, making sure they knew that he was better than them. Dream was not one to bluff when it came to being better than someone in PVP. Then all eyes turned on Tubbo as Dream threatened to kill him of Tommy didn’t give back the discs. If there was one thing Tubbo knew, its that he would die in every timeline, as long as Tommy was happy with his discs.

**“Tubbo, the discs, the discs were worth more than you ever were.” Tommy spat at his once best friend.**

**While most people would’ve brushed the remark off as a heat of the moment thing, Tubbo knew some of that sentiment had to be true. If there was one thing Tubbo knew about his best friend, its that he wouldn’t lie when it came to his discs. The one thing, person, he was still living for admitted that he wasn’t worth much to him either.**

As Tubbo was fighting for his life, he realized that maybe he wasn’t his time to die. He pleaded for his life as he was brought down to low health. He would never be ready to die unless he was sure that Tommy would be safe. So he begged for mercy on the off chance the green man would grant it and he would be able to get back to his friend.

“Tubbo?”

“Tommy?” The two had a quick reunion, a hug being shared and gapples being passed over to Tubbo.

“I’ve already given you two enough time. The discs or Tubbo, Tommy.” Dream starts to count down as Tommy started to panic. 

“What do I do Tubbo?”

“Keep the discs Tommy, I’ve done enough in my life.” Tubbo doesn’t mention him wanting Tommy to run away with the discs to safety so he could fight with everything in him to take Dream down at least one life.

 **_THE DISCS WERE WORTH MORE THAN YOU EVER WERE_ ** rang out in Tubbos head, accepting his fate. He didn’t want to die in front of Tommy so if he could just run it would be great.

Tubbos head spun as Tommy gave up the disc for his life. His head in a different place as Dream said that neither of the discs he had were Tommys. Tubbo felt empty as he was forced to drop his things in the a hole only to watch them be blown up. As Dream led him and Tommy to the discs all he could think about was how much he wished Tommy would’ve ran with the discs, let him die.

Emotions had no place in war. Wilbur and Schlatt had engraved that into his brain for as long as he could remember, yet here he was so full of emotions that he couldn’t process a single one of them. His body was moving on autopilot as they were lead to what he presumed would be their end.

Tubbo could only blankly stare at Dream as he belittled him one more, as he tried to break their spirit by berating them and admit to him trying to turn the two against each other. Admitting to framing Tommy for blowing up the community house when he was the one who did it. 

And as Tommy asked Tubbo why he just did what Dream wanted, no questions asked, he finally admitted his peace with death. 

“At this point we’re dead either way. Goodbye.” Tubbo stared at the elevator that took them down to a dark room, pictures of their discs hung on the wall as Dream told them how all being attached to things just led to their own death. 

Wilbur and Schlatt were right and Tubbo was grateful that he had heeded their warning and tried his hardest to not be attached to anything, Tommy being the only exception to his own rule.

Tubbo looked around in horror as Dream showed them the sick hall of things that people were attached to, bile rising in his mouth as he saw a spot replaced for Skeppy. It was in this moment he was glad that Squeeks decided to kiss a creeper. At least now he wouldn’t be trapped in some dark room as some sort of trophy.

As Tommy once again let emotions get in front of logic, he threatened Dream only for Tubbo to get attacked as the result. 

“Tommy, I need you alive, but I don’t need Tubbo. He’s no fun. I’ve used him as much as I could and now I don’t need him anymore.”

“You do need Tubbo! Without Tubbo then what am I?” Tommy asks.

“‘Just say your goodbyes before I kill him and send you to an inescapable prison.” Dream yells.

“Why are you just accepting your death?” Tommy asks.

“All good things must come to an end, Tommy.” Tubbo finally speaks up.

“Tubbo, what am I without you?”

“Yourself.” Tubbo makes his way towards his death. 

“But you were optimistic?”

“ Tommy, I’d not hold the sane attachments to the discs as you do anymore. I came with you because you are my best friend and I would do anything you ask of me. I came here to make sure that you were the one who got out of this mess alive. You complain about how I have no attachment to anything, but you’re my discs Tommy. I would lay down my life for you any day because you’re my best friend and I wouldn’t be able to live without you. You’ll be okay Tommy, I promise. Maybe I’ll even become a ghost like Wilbur and we can be in jail together.” Tubbo tried to sound optimistic but no one knew how one came back as a ghost or not.

“Goodbye Tommy.” Tubbo walked over towards Dream and hoped the man would only kill him after he took Tommy away.

But luck was never on his side and this was no exception as Dream started to kill him in front of Tommy. He was one more strike away from death when he saw a group of people exit the nether portal. He heard Punz tell Dream that his prices had raised, heard Tommy yell out in joy before coming over and picking Tubbo up and getting him away from Dream and behind their heavily armed friends.Tubbo fought with everything in him to keep his eyes open, to stay alive, because he still had someone to fight for.

Ranboo and Sam rushed over to his side, bandaging him and giving him health potions so he would be okay. When he felt okay, he had them help him stand up before hm and Tommy realized they could grab the discs and stash them. Tubbos body burned as he ran for the disc and threw it in his ender chest but it was worth it. 

Tubbo smiled as his friend had his own power trip, killing the green tyrant twice, now on the same level as them with only one life left to live. For once, Tubbo lets himself break his own rule. He lets himself show emotions during a time of war, lets himself be optimistic for the outcome. He cheers as Sam escorts Dream to prison, hopes for the possibility of Wilbur joining them again, and relaxes when he realizes that Snowchester can be free and safe. 

Hope, a feeling he hasn’t had since the first war. Since Wilbur drilled it into his brain that emotions made you weak. Hope that was snuffed out when Schlatt ridiculed him for every single thing he did even though he was only sixteen and basically running a country on his own. Hope that blew up in flames when his home country was reduced to the biggest crater it had ever been, no reason to build it back up.

Tubbo welcomes his new era with open arms.

——— 

Later, after he and Tommy had joked about retiring and discussed much needed things, clearing the air once and for all, Tubbo decided that therapy would be nice. Lord knows he and Tommy needed some and maybe it wouldn’t be that bad if they did it together.

Sure the nightmares won’t just disappear now that Dream was locked up, but at least there was a brighter future for this world. A future where you were able to be attached to things, show emotion, and not worry about it being destroyed or taken away.

Tubbo and Tommy are ready to kill each other and join the afterlife when Wilbur, not Ghostbur but Wilbur, told them that he wanted to “stay fucking dead” and beat the ever loving shit out of the man. Well, beat the shit out of Ghostbur where ever he was for even saying he wanted to be alive again.

Instead they sat and watched the sun set, their newly reclaimed discs playing from the jukebox, a new era of peace brought forth by Dreams incarceration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i fell asleep writing this so rest in peace to my back. sleeping hunched over never does anyone any good. i really tried to capture tubbos acceptance of death in this since its been abundantly clear since l’manburgs last canon death that he had nothing to live for other than his best friend. i hope you enjoy this. might do an alternate ending if you guys want one. would totally be down for some super angst, its my specialty
> 
> i have also come to the conclusion that if everything in the dsmp goes okay than everything irl will be okay to since joe wasn’t assassinated which is good.


End file.
